| Author | Post |
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marc
Supporter
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Posted: Wed Nov 23rd, 2005 03:32 pm |
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| LOL... 6 pints in 1 hour will do that to just about anyone.....
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Babe
Supporter
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Posted: Wed Nov 23rd, 2005 03:13 pm |
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| *rolls eyes at this one* Thought you guys would like it tho... Attachment: beerstudy.jpg (Downloaded 224 times)
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Babe
Supporter
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Posted: Wed Nov 23rd, 2005 02:52 am |
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There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year !
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in
Washington, DC this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious
reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a
virgin in the Nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding
enough asses to fill the stable.
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Dave
Supporter
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Posted: Mon Nov 21st, 2005 08:56 pm |
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While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti.
Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"
Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush?
"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna switch back to paper."
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Dave
Supporter
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Posted: Mon Nov 21st, 2005 02:22 pm |
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After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game
Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he emailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help.
Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:
"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."
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weasle
Supporter
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Posted: Mon Nov 21st, 2005 01:40 pm |
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| LMAO !!!
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marc
Supporter
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Posted: Mon Nov 21st, 2005 01:03 pm |
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Got this off another board...
"HEALTH WARNING...Must Read"
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new
virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is
contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease
is called Gonorrhea Lectim pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many
victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the
past four years.
Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:
anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with
messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to
incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and
paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions,
cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial
smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards
evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this
destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush
found in Texas
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marc
Supporter
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Posted: Thu Nov 17th, 2005 05:34 pm |
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This is good......
YOUR AGE BY BEER MATH
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have
beer (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755 ....
If you haven't, add 1754.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have beer each week).
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2005) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT
LASTS.
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marc
Supporter
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Posted: Thu Nov 17th, 2005 05:27 pm |
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| LOL....Very true in Newark, Jersey City (or should I say Joisey City) & Camden areas.....
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zippo
Supporter
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Posted: Thu Nov 17th, 2005 05:07 pm |
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| Love it Dave!
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Dave
Supporter
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Posted: Thu Nov 17th, 2005 04:56 pm |
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Application To Live In New Jersey
NAME:__________________________
NICKNAME:______________________
ADDRESS: ______________________ EXIT # __________
______________________
ETHNIC BACKGROUND: _______Italian _______Sicilian ________Jewish
BACKYARD SMELLS LIKE
a)Sewage b)Sulfur c)Garbage d)All of the above
TOTAL NUMBER OF MUSCLE SHIRTS
a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above
TOTAL NUMBER OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS
a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above
TOTAL NUMBER OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS THAT ARE ALSO MUSCLE SHIRTS
a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above
BRAND OF JEANS PREFERRED
a)Sergio Valente b)Jordache c)Sassoon d)Z. Cavaricci
PERCENTAGE OF WARDROBE WHICH IS LEATHER
a)100% b)95-100% c)90-95% d)85-90%
TOTAL NUMBER OF GOLD CHAINS OWNED
a)10 - 15 b)15 - 20 c)20 - 25 d)25 and above
TOTAL NUMBER OF GOLD CHAINS WORN AT ONE TIME
a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above
APPROXIMATE VALUE OF ALL THIS JEWELRY
a)$ 5 - $10 b)$10 - $15 c)$15 - $20 d)Stolen
GOLD CAP ON AT LEAST ONE TOOTH? YES NO
HAIR HEIGHT
a)6 - 8 Inches b)8 - 12 Inches c)1 - 2 feet d)More than 2 feet
HAIR PRODUCTS USED AT ANY GIVEN TIME
a) Hair Spray
b) Styling Gel
c) Mouse
d) Extra Hold Styling Gel
e) Bondo
f) Spackle
g) 40 Weight Oil
h) Crazy Glue
i) All of the above
AUTOMOBILE OWNED
a) IROC Z
b) Firebird
c) Camaro
d) Mustang
f) Chevette (You got a fucking problem with that?)
NUMBER OF INCHES CAR IS OFF THE GROUND
a)6 - 8 Inches b)4 -6 Inches c)2 - 4 Inches d)Under 2 Inches
CHARACTERISTICS OF AUTOMOBILE
a) Gold chain around license plate
b) Neon lights around license plate
c) Neon lights under car
d) Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging from rear view mirror
e) Garter hanging from rear view mirror
f) Chrome hubcaps
g) Stick-on window tinting
h) Stick-on paint splash stickers
i) Fuzzy dice
FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM
a) Fucking Giants
b) Fucking Jets
c) Fucking Mets
d) Fucking Yankees
e) Fucking Nets
f) Fucking Knicks
g) Fucking Devils
h) Fucking Rangers
i) Fucking Islanders
FAVORITE MUSIC
a) Techno
b) Rap
c) Bon Jovi
d) Bruce Springstein
ESSAY QUESTION
In 100 words or less, Define the term "Yoose Guys"
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Babe
Supporter
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Posted: Thu Nov 17th, 2005 04:52 pm |
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zippo wrote: Babe wrote: zippo wrote: Had to be a blonde! Hooters are two small to be Babe though First off her hair looks rather dark to me.......and secondly....Zippo? How do you know they are too small?......exactly how do you figure you know the size of my "hooters" hmmmmm? (Zippo needs lotsa capital letters today....lol)
I Just read the graffiti in our bathroom that you painted pink!
ROTFLMAO......yes your wife must have a wonderful sense of humor! lol
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zippo
Supporter
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Posted: Thu Nov 17th, 2005 04:12 pm |
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Babe wrote: zippo wrote: Had to be a blonde! Hooters are two small to be Babe though First off her hair looks rather dark to me.......and secondly....Zippo? How do you know they are too small?......exactly how do you figure you know the size of my "hooters" hmmmmm? (Zippo needs lotsa capital letters today....lol)
I Just read the graffiti in our bathroom that you painted pink!
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Babe
Supporter
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Posted: Thu Nov 17th, 2005 12:29 am |
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ROTFL......omg weasle...ya had me scratchin my head at that one until I scrolled bac down to look at the pic again....LOL Yer on a roll today too! Must be the cold coming in....effecting everyone! 
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weasle
Supporter
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Posted: Wed Nov 16th, 2005 11:13 pm |
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| not to get involved in a hooter contraversaity, but im wondering how, she got that ting going that fast to splatter that many bugs!!
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Babe
Supporter
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Posted: Wed Nov 16th, 2005 10:38 pm |
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zippo wrote: Had to be a blonde! Hooters are two small to be Babe though First off her hair looks rather dark to me.......and secondly....Zippo? How do you know they are too small?......exactly how do you figure you know the size of my "hooters" hmmmmm? (Zippo needs lotsa capital letters today....lol)
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zippo
Supporter
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Posted: Wed Nov 16th, 2005 09:22 pm |
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| Had to be a blonde! Hooters are two small to be Babe though
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Babe
Supporter
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Posted: Wed Nov 16th, 2005 08:59 pm |
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| I had to say that....ya know RANDY woulda been the first one to say....."Hey isnt that you babe?" I cant win...lol
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Randy in Pensacola
Supporter
| Joined: | Wed Nov 3rd, 2004 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 934 |
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Posted: Wed Nov 16th, 2005 08:50 pm |
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| Sure it isnt......
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Babe
Supporter
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Posted: Wed Nov 16th, 2005 08:42 pm |
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LOL...sorry copied and pasted that one outta an email....
Here is one you should like....and dont even ask......it is NOT me! lol
Attachment: Helmetgirl.jpg (Downloaded 139 times)
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