For Michael's birthday, his wife wanted to surprise him when he came home from work. After some careful consideration she decided to strip naked and wrap herself in saran wrap from her shoulders to her ankles.
Pretty soon Michael enters his house exhausted from a tough day at work. He walks through the kitchen, places his lunchbox down, and hears his wife say, "Honey! I'm in the living room."
Rounding the corner, he spots her all wrapped up in plastic. After a quick peek, he immediately he says, "Leftovers again?!"
A woman from India moves to America and is living in a large apartment complex. She knocks on her neighbor's door and says (in your best india woman accent) "You would be excusing me but you can tell me where you go in your country to buy food?"
And the neigbor says, "Yeah, we got to these places called supermarkets. In fact, I'm headed there now if you'd like to go along."
The Indian woman says, "Oh yes, that would be very nice."
So they're in the market in the produce department and the Indian woman picks up two large russet potatoes and says, "You know, these would be reminding me of my husband's testicles."
To which the American woman looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, your husband's balls are that big?!"
The woman from India laughs and says, "Oh no, no, no, they're not this big, but they are this dirty!"
A man goes to his doctor and says "Doc, I have a problem.
My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday,
my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday,
and my wife is coming home Sunday.
I need three Viagra pills to satisfy them all."
The doctor says "You know, three Viagra pills three nights in a row is pretty dangerous for a man of your age.
I will give them to you on the condition that you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out."
The man says, "You have a deal Doc."
Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling.
That was funny Mikey, glad I have high speed Internet now. It took only 7 seconds to download on 3mbps, on dial up about 10 minutes I figure for that 2 meg movie. I'm spoiled now.
Got that wireless router disabled, had to type in a web address, my account password and change the settings. Safe and secure now...That wireless is nice to know it's there if I get into it.
Go Google or Yahoo and type in sick or disgusting jokes or whatever and you will be surprised what you will get. Then you got a go through the various sites and select your favorites of which I have 6 or 7.
A man was sitting next to a woman in a mini bus that was traveling on a long and lonely highway for hours. It was beginning to rain; so all the windows were closed. The man needed to fart, but was scared that the woman would smell.
Very gingerly he lifted his tail and farted silently, he smelt it and wanted to form a conversation with the woman just in case she smelt it. He looked out the window and said to her "You see that black cloud in the sky? That has rain behind it."
She then said, "You smell that fart? That has shit behind it."
Last edited on Thu Mar 17th, 2005 04:44 pm by marc
weasle wrote: was worried about ya randy aint seen a post for a while , though ya od on head cheese down their in paradise. LMAO
Boating season started!!!!!!! Had my wonders there for awhile...Ive been blessed with great weather and people who want to buy boats.....The hard part is to decide weather to ride or sell boats?????????So I have been deviding them up...
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